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A recent, disturbing study reported that approximately 20 percent of over 4,000 girls surveyed, age 14-18, had been shoved, hit, slapped, or forced into sexual acts by their dates.
As an early teen, I was babysitting 5 kids who were all very fond of me; the oldest was 7, and the youngest 3.
After catching my breath, I told her that she had pulled the scarf so tight that I had had difficulty breathing.
Her response: “I’ll do it again if you share secrets with anyone but me. You are NOT to be anyone else’s special friend – only mine.” I ignored her, and turned to the child who had been whispering in my ear.
As I grew up and observed this child grow up, I found that she retained the jealous streak even after she’d graduated from school! To make matters worse, you hold your child’s sibling(s) up as a shining example of what he/she is . And now you’ve started walking away while people are still speaking to you. At different times in their lives, they will want your attention in different ways.
(Her parents are family friends, so we stayed in touch, though the babysitting had stopped a long time back.) In conversation, she came across as a mature, well-read, impressive adult, but the veneer cracked the moment her parents (or anyone she was attached to) paid the least attention to anyone but herself. To your little one, you say: “Look at X: he is so responsible. Do your best to understand what kind of attention they want, and give it to them. This is YOUR special “Dad-and-Kid” or “Mom-and-Kid” time, and each kid gets equal amounts of time each week. Praise each child to his and her face – Let him know what you like about .
As she whispered into my ear (it was a secret meant only for me 🙂 ), the most aggressive of the lot, a 4 year old, pulled the scarf around my neck tight, almost strangling me.